Compromising VS. Settling…. Did I settle With the Wrong Person?

Mar 15

Mar 15 Compromising VS. Settling…. Did I settle With the Wrong Person?

Relationships do not come without its challenges and compromises, but I want to force all my readers to really understand the different between compromising and settling. I have been faced with this recently in my own relationship wondering the difference between the two concepts.

Was I asking for too much? Was I too harsh? Was I unwilling to compromise? Needless to say, after months of trying to understand the difference, I realized in order to stay in the relationship I would have had to change certain things that would had made me unhappy, which it turn means that I would have to settle.

Here are some ways to know the difference:

1.) Making a Choice That You Know Makes You Unhappy: I will use my situation as an example. I was very unhappy living in my hometown of Cleveland, Ohio. There were so many things wrong with my life in Cleveland such as dead-end jobs and a poor living situation. After months of applying to jobs, I finally got the opportunity to leave Cleveland for a new job in Atlanta that provided me with stability. My boyfriend wasn’t ready to relocate, so I ended the relationship because living in Atlanta is truly what makes me happy. Now I could have stayed in Cleveland and continued to struggle just for the sake of having a man, but I would have been SETTLING because Cleveland truly did not make me happy.

2.) Choosing Not Go After Something Do to Fear: The fear of living your life alone is truly scary and sometimes this clouds our judgement in knowing whether or not a person or a situation is good for us. Sometimes we think just because something is easy, safe or comfortable means it’s the best decision for us, this is a form of settling. It’s like the old saying, “Anything Worth Having is Worth Fighting For”. This is a good lesson that can be applied to more than just love like careers, dreams…etc.

3.) Know Your Deal Breakers: As petty, small or big something may be, we all have a limit of what we are willing to deal with. When you find yourself going against all things that are important to you, this means you are settling.

The bottom line is, a compromise is something that you do not mind changing, and with that change you can still be happy. The definition of compromising and settling is different for everyone, and it is up to you to decide, what you are willing to deal with, and what makes you comfortable.