I am a Black Woman….I May Never Get Married!!

So, I grew up in a single-parent home watching my mother dedicate her life to raising my brother and I providing all of our needs and most of our wants. I guess I never really understood why my mom was unable to get married until I myself reached the age where I wanted to get married, and started feeling like marriage was not an option for me. Was I doomed when it came to marriage because I was a black woman? Should I settle and start dating white or other ethnicities?  Let’s take a look to see when and why marriage started to decline in the Black Community.

Per the United States Census, between 1870 and 1970 Black women were more likely to marry than white women, so why did this drastically change? In the 1970s “The War on Drugs” began which ultimately led to the “Sentencing Reform Act”. This act of legislation handed down harsh sentences for drug procession. This left many Black families without husbands and fathers. Obviously, you can’t get married if you are dead or in jail, so this large number of men became unavailable. Between 1981 and 2001, 572,900 Black men were sent to jail causing the Black marriage rate in America to dip.

Fast forward to 2017, where does this leave us now? The effects of the crack epidemic are still relevant today in what is called the trickle-down effect.  Many men did not grow up watching their fathers become husbands or some like myself did not have their fathers around at all, or if they were around they weren’t the best role models. So, this has left a sea of broken black men who have been misguided about their manhood.

For any man or woman who aspires to get married, it is important to align yourself with a man or a woman who has been in a successful marriage for a period of time.  Having someone there to mentor you can help shape and guide you along your journey. In addition, it is important to remember just because you did not grow up watching your parents in a healthy marriage does not mean you cannot go on to become a great wife or husband. You have to look at your parents and learn from their mistakes and make sure not to go down the same path. In the words of our great 44th President Barack Obama, “you will either be like your father or you will die trying not to be like your father”.

Photo-credit: AlantaBlackStar.com

For more stats on Black Marriage please visit: BlackDemographics.com