How Do You Know If It's Really Over?
The Queen of Hip Hop and R&B Soul Mary J. Blige is currently going through a bitter divorce with her husband Kendu Issacs. Due to the release of her upcoming album, Blige has visited a few radio stations and spoke on her failed marriage where she has been very honest. During her interview with Power 105.1 “The Breakfast Club”, she admitted she wanted the relationship more than Issacs, and she was even willing to share him with another woman if necessary, but he had already fallen deeply in love with this other women. As I listened to the interview, I couldn’t believe a man would not want to be with the Queen Mary J. She is a strong talented black business woman and she just seems so down to earth. She is a true around the way girl. It made me think if a man can leave her, then I don’t have anything coming!!!!! She seems like the ultimate superwoman.
Blige’s experience with Issacs has made me think about how to recognize the signs that a relationship is over. How long should you stick around? How do you know he just isn’t into you anymore? Here are five things we learned from Mary J. about leaving a relationship:
1.) Another Woman: As we know men cheat for numerous reasons and physical attention has always been an excuse many use for cheating, but what happens when a man falls deep in love with this other person. Once your mate has given their heart to another person, they have left you for good. In church, I learned the three A’s that constitute divorce: adultery, abandonment, and abuse. If someone has fallen in love with another person, he has certainly abandoned you.
2.) Realizing Whether or Not There is Compatibility: In order for a relationship to work both parties involved have to want the same things at the same time. The couple must have the same core values. Are your morals and goals the same? If you find yourself questioning this, you may need to move on.
3.) If you are Trying your Best, and it’s Not Good Enough: Relationships are hard work and exhausting at times, but to make it work you always have to put your best foot forward. Sometimes the relationship will require you to go above and beyond your comfort zone. Once you have given it a true and honest shot, you have to ask yourself is it working.
4.) Listen to Your Gut: A woman’s intuition is always right!! Your gut will not fail you. If it is trying to tell you something listen!! If you have a feeling it is not working, your gut is probably trying to tell you the truth.
5.) Take Your Time and Pray About It: Ask God to reveal himself to you. Ask God to guide you and talk to you about a decision that is hard to make on your own. Listen to God and seek his advice.
Ultimately, you are the only person that truly knows if the relationship is worth saving. You and the other person were the only two people present in the relationship, so you both know what’s best for each other and if it’s worth it.
